Learning to accept | Stephanie's October 2021



Hi there, November! As expected, October came and passed by us. Of all months, I really wanted to cling onto this one and was trying to savour time -- however life must go on and I’m learning to accept the fact that even though it’s only the start of November, we’re already well into the month. And onto the recap -- Stephanie

 

Lifestyle:

I always have a note doc on my phone to keep track of the highlights of the month so I can write them here, and I am not sure if I actually had more events in my life this month, or if I just really wanted to savour this month -- but interestingly, I’ve wrote the most in my notes doc so let’s get started.


One of the first highlights right at the start of my month was meeting with someone I have been listening on Podcast for the longest time ever. For some reason even though I’ve gotten the hang of networking, I’ve always been intimidated to reach out to people who are popular/senior level but I decided to just give it a try since she’s someone I look up to in the Product Marketing world and Women in Careers. I didn’t think she’d actually reply or follow through with a meeting, but it ended up happening so I am glad I shot my shot. On this note, I really had to follow my motto of ‘shooting my shot’ this month because I was trying harder to make a move. I saw this product marketing role at a company I’ve been eye-ing for years, I’ve been networking with employees at this company for years, and even though people always tell me they’re open to helping, I always shy out because we aren’t actually close and IDK if they really mean it. I also do not like asking for help, especially men idk. This time around, I decided to f it and just ask a Director level Product Marketing leader and he ended up referring me. I was really lucky he responded because I did this again to others in my network and they didn’t reply lmao but repeating my lesson from last month, always shoot your shot with everything you do.


Another highlight was spending time with my family as always, change is always constant but family is one thing that always feels secure and unchanging for me. A big highlight on family time this month was celebrating my mom’s birthday. My parents always celebrated my sister and I’s birthday’s growing up, but not so much their own.I don’t think my parents even celebrated birthdays when they were kids. So it’s nice now that we’re older, my sister and I are able to do more for our parents.


October’s youtube video also prompted me to try new things and give them another chance. Growing up I did not like pumpkin anything. I sadly still do not like pumpkin pie, but I enjoyed the pumpkin spice latte! I’m glad we ended up doing this youtube topic because IDK if I would’ve ever given it a second chance if not. And on this youtube video post, a lil highlight there is that Youtube commented on our instagram post woooh I guess hashtags still do work.


I also had the chance to get more involved in community this month. I ended up getting a message from a Director in one of my earliest internships and honestly I barely knew this guy back then and now lol but I decided to donate a bit and it feels good to be in a position where I can help a bit to the programs that shaped me. In a way it felt like I grew up but at the same time it reminded me of my younger self when I participated in this program as a student. I was also invited to beta test this Women Career Advancing mobile app and was asked to be a speaker for one of their events. To be honest that was a very rough week and I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t because the topics hold so near and dear to me, and I ended up squeezing it in my evening and doing the talk. I am so glad I did, and it was an interesting experience being a podcast guest speaker for once!


On friendships, this month I was able to bring together people I met from different groups and it was so nice to be able to see them get along so well! That is definitely a rare exception and I do not take it for granted. We ended up grabbing brunch, walking around GGP, and going to the conservatory. Everyone had so much to talk about which was great. I realized I don’t really have photos of myself on my phone unless someone else brings it up. When I was waling around the Conservatory, Diana told me to turn around and smile and took this picture. (lol I am smiling but was unready and still had my mask on).



I was also finally able to try out the Alice cocktail bar experience (I think it varies depending on the city you are in) but I thought the SF one was just okay..Overall fun for the memories though. And I ended my October with making and meeting a new friend on Bumble! I’ve never really met someone online and met them in person before, (and it went well), so here’s to trying new things.


Random collage of places I spent WAY too much to get into/eat so enjoy:

Video's wouldn't upload :(


 

Lows:


1. Health

Ok not going to get to TMI in this but my physical health has been questionable this month haha I do not go #2 enough. It got slightly better, though probably still concerning. So I will have to look into this


2. Everyone has different priorities

Another low this month was that I reached out to some friends on booking a trip together and while some said yes initially, really only Jin followed through with the booking while many others just suggested I hang out with them separately. While this experience brought me down, it also showed me that everyone has different priorities, different values in how they spend money, and is not comfortable with merging. And it’s nothing to fuss over, at the end of the day we don’t have control over anyone. I am thankful for the time I do get to spend with these people and all else is extra.


3. You can’t be there for everyone

In a way I was burning myself out this month. I was trying to say yes to every invite I got whether that was speaking for that event, or every opportunity to hangout, helping people with resume reviews, being there for my family, along with my day job and going on many networking calls and interviews. I felt the need to say ‘Yes’ to everything I cared about and I felt bad if I couldn’t deliver. I actually had to turn down a couple meetings with some people who graciously offered me their door, and I felt so guilty for doing so, but I needed more time for myself.

 

Lessons:


1. Learning to accept

One of my biggest lessons this month was learning to accept. I lived most of my month in denial and anxiety that I would have to return to the office. Hoping for a move or a miracle that would delay it. Well it is November and I have went in (just once so far lol and I didn’t love it but didn’t hate it). I won’t give up my goals for change, but I feel like learning to accept and developing an action plan gave me such a peace of mind. I only wish I had done this earlier instead of living in uncertainty and anxiety.


2. No structure or plan? Make your own

I wrote about this lesson earlier last year but it still holds so true. I lived my days in such uncertainty not knowing when or what days I’d have to go back. Living on uncertainty is not fun for me. And, I was giving people the power to decide my schedule and life for me. Then this week (more like last week I had the idea) but this week I decided to just freakin come up with my own schedule and propose it. Now I feel more at ease knowing when I have to be in vs when I do not. Had I only done this a few weeks to a month earlier, I would not have lived my life in such anxiety during the weeks leading up to this one.


3. A chance of Luck goes a long way

Okay this isn’t really a new lesson, I’ve definitely seen how life chances and success has been heavily influenced by luck. I’m not saying hard work and preparation doesn’t matter, but luck does play a role and we don’t get to choose who or where or what we are born into. In short, this is not a new lesson for me either. But luck really really does play a long way in life chances. This month when I celebrated my mom’s birthday, we were so lucky the sky held up, I was driving back from the next city in the heavy rain for the first time (a whole learning lesson of its own) but we got back safely. The very next day it was pouring, and the same bridge I used to get home the previous day, I saw all over the media that a truck had gotten swept by the heavy wind and rain and crashed on two smaller cars next to it. I just kept thinking to myself that I was driving at that exact same bridge the day before, what in the world would I have done or happened to my family if I happened to be that car right next to that truck. Luck really does go a long way


4. You have a lot to learn from younger people

While I’ve been networking around a lot in my career, I rarely network with people years younger than me. Ego aside, this month I decided to network with someone younger than me because she was in a role I was interested in and wanted to learn more about how she got there. She was such a nice person and very open to helping. And really, I have so much to learn from people younger than me! Age is not a factor, and there are so many people younger than me who know more than me and it’s time I start meeting them too.

 

My pick of the month: My mom’s birthday


My pick of the month is my mom’s birthday but I don’t even have a photo to share for y’all! Even though I have photos for other events in my life this month, I wanted to keep my pick to be my mom’s birthday. My parents’ birthdays just mean so much to me as I grow older. IDK maybe its a sense of seeing them age as I age, feeling a bit sad that they’re aging, and also the wanting to give them the world because they didn’t get to celebrate their birthdays as kids.


It’s officially November 2021, the time I feared of so much is here haha. It’s also my birthday month, though I never loved November. If anything I always didn’t like the fact that it’s almost the cold and dark winter. So I gotta be honest I’m not that excited even though it is my birthday month, but I am excited to reunite with Jin and see loved ones during this time and the holiday season :)


Until December,

Best,

Stephanie


 

Mixes I've been grooving to this month: