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I say this every time but I can’t believe we are already at the start of a new month, March 2nd to be exact. We are already in the 3rd month of 2025, putting it this way makes it even crazier how time continues to fly, despite February only being a few days short of other months - it always seems to be extra expedited.
I am excited for March - the start of my favorite season Spring, and for the already sunnier days I see ahead. Before then, let’s recap on how February went. —Stephanie
Lifestyle, Lessons, Lows
While lunar new year was at the end of Jan, I spent most of the first 2 weeks of Feb celebrating with my Family - from our visits to temples, to hosting a large dinner with extended family. These moments are ever so precious, my family didn’t celebrate many holidays growing up but this was the one that they took so seriously. Now as an adult, the long drives to the temples, the long waits at these temples, the smell of incense - the things I was impatient and found boring as a kid, are now things I look forward to spending with my family. As for the temples, what I once found old and crowded because I didn’t know better as a kid, I now see so much beauty from the lanterns to the perseverance of the sacred place. As cliche as it sounds, when you change the way you see things - the things you see change. This Lunar New Year was extra special because it was the first one I got to spend together with my parents after the house, despite all the uneasiness in the air (more on this later), and it was also the first time we had all my mom’s siblings (even those who don’t get along) to come together to have dinner with my grandparents (who usually don’t get along too, but miraculously became besties again on Lunar New Years). I’ll definitely remember this one for years to come.
Career-wise, this has been a month of many changes and emotions. I spent the beginning of Feb on b2b interviews for that company that reached out last month, it was educational to get back into the groove of interviews, I forget how intensive it is to always have to be on your toes with these b2b interview rounds and assignment presentations. I was definitely rough on my skills, but it was a good learning experience as well as the case study as refreshing to look at different business challenges that I am not as familiar with in comparison to my day to day swing. More than anything, this process of having a team seem so invested in me and do their research in me - helped me learn a lot about myself and what I bring to the table. Unfortunately I did not get to exercise my negotiation skills, but I’ll be proud of being a finalist. This experience also got me all emotional about what I currently have in life - it was time for my annual rewards conversation and my manager, without me ever even voicing it out to her, increased my salary % beyond the average non-promotional route. Her actions of advocating for me behind the scenes because she felt my work was worth more, and without me even voicing it out, means so much to me and I know one day letting go of and finding another good manager like this will be hard. It made me feel so guilty when I was interviewing for another company. When I made it to the final round, I had to ask for two references - a peer and a manager within 24 hours, and that’s when I felt so supported and grateful again for the support system I have - that I was able with confirm both people I asked. People that didn’t even know I was interviewing and was asked last minute. I feel even more lucky that I was able to ask people who recently left my company or an ex-manager, so I can keep this interview process a secret from my current team and not stir up any rumors if I wasn’t leaving. Both references messages left me with a warm feeling of support and a will that inspires me to be a better person. While I don’t know what my next career chapter will be, I know forsure manager, community, and purpose will be big.
Unfortunately this month, I have been on the low more than usual. I don’t like ending my entries on a low, so let’s unpack it here and now. Homeowning has been a rollercoaster of emotions, something I didn’t expect was my father feeling a continued period of dissatisfaction and sadness. I am sure he has a number of reasons why. I am still trying to figure to understand him. But this has taken over his daily happy self and it has been difficult seeing him like this, the person who taught me to always be positive despite the situation, to have good morals, and to be kind. To make matters worse, I was never into driving (y’all know I been struggling lol) but something I carelessly overlooked when purchasing this house was the parking situation where people park against their own driveways - making my already tight driveway even tighter. I’d give myself a pat on the back for the number of methods I had to get creative and learn to tetris my car in - the stickiest situations, me a couple months ago would be like wtf how’d I learn to park like this - until an incident happened early this month where I accidentally tapped a car while reverse parking in …. I continue to feel a surge of emotions from this incident - 1. Feeling so guilty for what I did to that car (even tho I didn’t see a single scratch on that car, I still feel bad) 2. Fear that this can happen again because of how tight the space is 3. Rethinking my carelessness when assessing houses and that I didn’t think to visit this house at night to see the parking situation and 4. Feeling like I am responsible for my dad’s unhappiness and that this parking situation incident validates it, and perhaps maybe I did make the wrong decision. Even though I’ve successfully backed into my garage countless times this month since that incident, the fear that I have everytime I am driving home continues to cloud my mind and I am trying hard to move past it. Sometimes I wish I could take a break from driving but at the same time I had things in my life where I just needed to drive to commute, whether that’s my love for pilates and the studio I committed a monthly pass to requires a car to commute to, or my hair appt that I scheduled in SJ. I don’t know what is more courageous or selfish, mustering the bravery to drive still or perhaps being frank to take a break for a while. This month I have been in a funk because of the 4 factors I’ve been thinking about but I try my best to work on my mindset because mindset is everything. I am thankful for the support that I do have in life that has helped me get by each day and have moments of happiness despite the incident.
Ending off this entry on a high - with all the love and support in my life that keeps me grounded and uplifted despite the tough incident of this month. This month I especially enjoyed cooking and hosting my friends over, as well as have friends do the same for me. It truly makes weeknights so much more exciting, and it reminds me of the UCSB days where Jin and I would cook for each other or for our friends and invite them over. At the same time, it’s a good bonding moment with my mom because I often ask her to reteach me her vietnamese recipes, as oftentimes when I host I try to make vietnamese dishes my friends haven’t tried/wouldn’t make at home. This month I was able to host twice hehe bo bia and papaya salad for Tammie, and com tam with a side of soup for Christina W. In both instances, we caught up and yapped the night away before, during, and after dinner. I was also super lucky to have Christina S invite me over for dinner where she cooked - and we likewise yapped the night away with Ashley, love seeing my friends get along. I am thankful for pilates for keeping me grounded and a reason (for better or worse) that makes me brave to get out the house and drive despite being afraid since that incident, especially this month where I randomly stayed for a chat with my favorite instructor and where I got to learn about her previous career in social work and serving the elderly, and how she shared how mindset is so powerful in the way we go through life - and to give out kindness and empathy because it can change both our mindset and those that receive it. I needed to hear those words especially being in a funk after this incident. And I am especially thankful for the love and support of my dear family and friends since that incident. I called my sister and best friends Jin and Ashley on what to do that day, I shamefully called my dad too whom I really didn’t want him to know and worry even more - but I was afraid that if in the slim chance he found out because I got reported, I would feel even worse - but he was so logical and understanding, and wasn’t upset with me. If it wasn’t for my family and friends support that day, I don’t think I would’ve been able to get through that day without breaking down and confessing lol and potentially get in more of a mess - and I don’t think I could have forgave myself for my carelessness of not visiting houses at night. They saved me that day, and their support is what kept me going throughout the month and even now - when I continued to encounter similar sticky situations with the parking after the incident (actually just experience one yesterday lol). February is Valentines day but romantic love was the last thing on my mind and life, this month I felt a different type of love, the type of love that someone’s (my support system) watching over me no matter how many times I mess up. I have not been the easiest to deal with but I am endlessly filled with love, kindness, and gratitude for my support system - my parents, friends, and my sister - for making me feel a month full of warmth and love regardless of the incident and regardless of me not being at my best.
My pick of the month: from besties to 16 year enemies to besties again
My family and I never thought we'd see this day again when my grandparents would be on good terms - :).
Here’s to a brighter March, so much is in store and I can’t wait for Spring!
Chat soon in April - I know it’ll be a good one
Best,
Stephanie
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