Efflorescence | Stephanie's May 2022


Hi everyone, hope you are all enjoying June! You already know what I’m going to say, how is it this time of the month already? How has it been a month since I visited Jin? Time truly gets harder to grasp as you get older (and I know I’m not even that old). Here’s the recap on May. --Stephanie

 

Lifestyle:

My second month of my new job went much faster than my first month, and I pretty much WFH most of this month. I am happy to share I am still getting along well with my coworkers, manager, and leadership -- which just makes me so happy because these interpersonal relationships was something I was worried were too good to be true. I was afraid people would only be nice during my first week, but people have continued to be very welcoming. In terms of personal life, I think I’ve found my true groove with setting aside one day of the weekend to catch up with others, and the other day of the weekend to have a chill me time day. More to say later in this blog post, but this was also the month I’ve truly recognized that I am becoming more of an introvert, and clearly identifying this and implementing this to my work and personal life (eg. setting aside one social day and one me day) has made improvements to my wellbeing.


Work-wise, at the start of May as I came back from my trip to SoCal, I was also embarking on my internal stakeholders interview project, and it was actually such bad timing because I caught a sore throat/bronchitis like symptoms (?) basically couldn’t stop coughing phlegm every now at then and my work life consisted of conducting internal research interviews almost daily so for the first weeks it was just embarrassing to have to hold my cough or clear my throat as I interview and meet people for the first time. Though there are worse things in life so I don’t think it was such a big deal to be putting this in the lows section. Still on the topic of work, I’ve never really liked virtual happy hours because the ones I attend are always filled with 10 people+ and the same 4 people talk, and I find it so awkward for me to interrupt to jump in the conversation so I just end up sitting in most of the time, which also makes me feel awkward because I’m just there lol. I also do not feel very comfortable sharing about my personal life in work settings. But I always tell myself to go to as much of these as I can, especially because as I’m new, I want to be a team player. There was one particular happy hour I went to around mid May (ironically my last one bc I skipped out the last 2 fridays lol), I was really dreading going but I made myself go anyways and it actually turned out really good. The group was actually much smaller ~4-5 people, so I felt more comfortable speaking or jumping in without interrupting the flow. But I think what made me feel good inside was because during that session, some coworkers (the ones who were talking more) from time to time, would invite me to join the discussion or ask me a question and it just felt so thoughtful and made me feel seen.


Personal life wise, I had mostly been following my one social day vs one chill day (tho obvs flexible on some weekends) and a couple notable hangouts. I was able to catch up with Diana finally, and we caught up where we left off despite not seeing each other for months (which I think was literally November). While I enjoyed the catch up, I felt like a bad friend and could’ve done better with reaching out to her more and first, especially since her stay in SF is limited. We planned on potentially going out the following week after that hangout, but the night before I spontaneously had a mini bar hop with Ashley and unexpectedly had too much lol and felt too sick the next day to go out again so I felt terrible for canceling on Diana again. I didn’t expect to bar hop with Ashley until the day of tbh, and sometimes unplanned hangouts work out the best because I feel like we were able to connect so much through the day and have real talks (hence why I was going with the flow unconsciously too much and had a lil too much that I felt sick on the way home lol). I also got to catch up with my friend Kelly who I also haven’t seen since March lol. It made me happy to hear about her life updates, and how happy she was that I hit her up/I noticed ever since that hangout she’s been texting me of life updates more which has made me feel like our relationship has gotten a bit closer? I always felt bad because she hits me up more and in my true floater fashion -- Looking back, being a floater with each week seeing someone new, it’s like I see people each week but at the same time to make time to catch up with other people, I don’t really see the same person until a month or two after. Just floater things, and curiously I wonder what makes people floaters. But at the same time I feel lucky because I have a couple core friendships in my life that makes me enjoy my floater relationships. Though who knows maybe I will get closer to Diana and Kelly this month (or stay floaters). To end off my month, Tammie and I were supposed to go fruit picking together and on the days leading to it -- we jokingly said we should make it a family thing -- and we actually ended up bringing out parents and making it a whole family thing lol! This was actually the first time our parents truly hung out together for a longer period of time lmao in the past it was more carpool drop offs. I used to be iffy about things like these because I’m not really sure how my parents would take it or how they would be, but these days I find myself being more open minded and I think it’d be fun if my parents can make new friends out of my friends too, also it did help that culturally Tammie and I’s parents could relate. I had a good weekend and I’d like to think both sides had a good time and that there’s more to come!





This is probably the longest lifestyles section ever, but I swear the other two sections will probably be super short lol. I just have a lot of updates that fit best here in this lifestyle space! Lastly, this month was a month of really appreciating my parents. It was mother’s day and seeing my mom care for my grandma and visit her at the nursing home (while I am still sad my grandma has to be in a nursing home) it warms my heart to see my moms relationship and care for her mom. My mom doesn’t really like buying flowers because they don’t last very long, but I make it a yearly tradition to get her flowers on mothers day (which she always scolds me for every year too lol) but this year the flowers I got bloomed so much and lasted so long (one rose is actually still alive today!). Usually roses especially, that I get last only a week, and other flowers last 2 weeks. This month’s flowers somehow lasted a good 3 ish weeks and I just got so fascinated with the lifecycle and science of flowers lol.



Back to mother’s day, I just feel so lucky to be able to have this time with my mom? Maybe it’s knowing that not everyone has a mom by their side, or asking people how their mothers day went only to hear that they didn’t really spend the day with their mom or are not in the best relationship -- just made me so thankful for my relationship with my mom and want to do better. While she can be strict, and a hoarder, and I miss my old college freedom lol -- this month was another appreciation of living and hanging out with her as much as I can because I know there will inevitably be a day we will part. My new company offers a WFH office fund that is expiring, so I used it to get some new desks for myself and my family and I was going to build them (but gave up lol). And my dad not only built them all, there was actually one standing desk order where the shipping people somehow gave us the wrong table top?? Ok i get it, it looks very similar to the one I ordered, but clearly the name of the table top is different from what I ordered and it says it so clearly on the box that you can tell the names are different lol. Anyway, so the table top holes/screws didn’t fit the legs/bottom, so I was about to call IKEA customer support the next day to exchange for the right table top. My dad then decided to drill holes to match the bottom legs (and I kept telling him no because i didn’t want him to mess up and do an ugly job and then I can’t even exchange this no more and will waste my money lol shame on me for thinking this), but he still did it -- and -- it fits so so well! I wouldn’t have even known that this was the wrong table top if I was someone who just saw it for the first time. I am quite impressed. Not just at his construction skills, but more or so that he can really learn to do anything he sets his mind to despite not having formal experience or education, and it inspires me to be better in all that I do, and that I can learn anything I set my heart to. So yes, this was a month of appreciating my parents as I should, and truly just enjoying my time with them.

 

Lows:

I can only think of one major low is that I get persuaded to drink easily and that I almost blew my cover one night lol. So I grew up in a pretty traditional household and my parents have never seen me super lit or yacking. Also if I know I am going home, I just don’t get that lit. Well this month, one night, I got persuaded and had to suffer the consequences on the way home. Once I got home I actually felt so sick but decided to go straight to bed so I don’t blow my cover, and that was such a rough night because sleeping never really helps me because I wake up dizzy and lit and dehydrated. But I didn’t want to stay up and have them question wtf am I doing lo l. So that whole night/morning I was just praying I do not yak(I also have a phobia of yaking) or blow my cover, and it was so tough because my head was honestly just hurting, but bless life and whoever is out there, because I was able to recover over the day without blowing my cover at all or yaking at home. Lesson learned to stop getting persuaded easily and to learn to say no because the pain and consequences are just not worth it.

 

Lessons:


1) Identifying, recognizing, and appreciating being an Introvert (or Ambivert?)

So I’ve always been shy at first meeting, but can get pretty talkative if we vibe after getting to know someone. Also being a floater and getting along with varying groups, I always thought I was just shy at first glance, but extroverted on the inside. (and who knows, maybe that really was who I once was). Though this month, I truly identified and recognized I am an introvert (at least forsure at work). The types of roles I’m in, always have a ton of meetings and while I used to enjoy meetings as an intern in college, post-grad I grew to really not love meetings. I find it hard for me to interrupt people virtually, and hard to speak up in larger group meetings, and also kind of just draining and interrupting my workflow. I mean don’t get me wrong there are some meetings i’m in where we have an awesome brainstorm and we go way overtime because of how invested we are on the topic, those are the best. But I’m more or so saying in general, I don’t like having meetings take up so much of the week and for the most part, I do find it challenging and draining. What’s more, this month (and probably for many months) I had to set up 1:1s internal interviews with a number of people (and this continues to go on) where in addition to my many team meetings in a week, I’m also internally interviewing someone for about an hour almost daily. While most conversations actually go better than expected and the 50 minutes go by in a flash, I do find myself oftentimes socially drained and cannot get back into my workflow for a bit (and end up taking a bling empire break lol) and it disrupts my ability to focus. Same with in my personal life, while I enjoy catching up with people and I can literally talk for hours with some, I think my perfect mix is having one social day and one chill day. Identifying, recognizing, and appreciating this introverted side of me this month really helped me in how I approach life? Like mostly setting up my weekends with that 1 social and 1 chill day structure, or at work I’ve found ways to collaborate with people over writing comments instead of always forcing myself to interrupt in the middle of a virtual call.


2. This is a repeating lesson that I plan to continue to repeat: being appreciative of the people in my life :)

 

My pick of the month: Flowers!


Growing up, my family wasn’t really a fan of flowers so I also wasn’t the biggest fan. My mom didn’t like their short living span, and my dad and sister get allergies easily. But this month, I am so impressed by the $21 safeway bouquet I got my mom! Also every year, I always get flowers from safeway and it’s always a mix of roses and lilies (+ potentially others, but these two are always in the mix) and the flowers always only last about 2 weeks? I am so surprised at how big these lilies bloomed :0 first I’ve seen such a big bloom, and how long these flowers lasted around 3 weeks. I got so curious and interested that I started google researching the lifecycle and science of lilies lol. My pick of the month is flowers and who knows maybe I will finally become a flower gal and buy them more regularly for the household.

 

Yet again we are at the bottom of the blog post and here I am wishing you all a wonderful month before speaking to y’all again very soon. I am sure it will be another flash and it’s time for July. Let’s make the best of June and we’ll chat soon!


Cheers until July,

Stephanie