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Change itself is Time | Stephanie's May 2023



Happy June! Crazy to see how we’re already in the summer months, half of the year is almost done. I blinked, and another month flew.


I’m going to try my best to not write an essay of an entry, but I have a feeling I still will. --Stephanie

 
Lifestyle:

Life will always be busy, and this month was no different. Regardless of not going on a trip this month, I somehow once again found myself cruising through life by existing. As I take a look back at this months’ weeks n mems, a recurring theme is re-connecting with people I have not seen in years. Crazy how life just seemed to work out this way this month. Life works it’s wonders with timing. I was able to see a college friend I haven’t seen since 2018 and another since 2020, a friend from study abroad, and a childhood friend. It’s as if all the people in my past life just happened to reach out this month. You never know when you will rekindle a friendship! Some led to continuous chats after, while some remained as a one-off hangout -- and I think both types of friendships are very necessary. It was nice having these conversations with each of these people in my life this month.


Beyond rekindling, I also had the chance to catch up with Pearl and Sadie post-LA trip and we got to do another Marin day. It’s crazy to think that the last time we did Marin was 2022 aka last year. Some things didn’t change, yet it’s also interesting to see how much we grew both personally and in our friendship. Marin is quite the opposite of San Francisco, something my young self would not have been excited about, but as a young adult -- I found being in nature and escaping the city for a weekend, quite serene. I probably can’t do this full time because I do enjoy city life, but it was very nice for a weekend away.



Skincare wise, this month, of my 24 years of life -- shamefully -- I finally developed a skincare routine! Wild I know, but growing up all my mom did was wash her face with water daily and cleanser every other day -- so that is all I did with my skin lol. I tried cetaphil and similar alternatives as a teen and it was all so drying, I thought my oily skin is just not fit for skincare. But this month I noticed I was physically again haha sun spots, and I finally decided to research and develop a skincare routine. It’s still quite minimal, but I am happy to share that I’ve been consistent in my routine and I actually look forward to using my cleanser daily!


This month was a month of growth in driving too, something about being back from SoCal where you literally have to drive all the time, made me start driving more beyond going to work in SF. Aka, finding street parking every darn time I go out. Aka something I used to never do bc I was and still am scared and intimidated lol. But I must say this month I mostly did a great job, I almost always found street parking after circling around, and being open to putting myself in this situation. Sadly, my winning streak led to a very costly Tow night lol but this experience only made me even more independent (and broke). A lesson is a lesson, even if it’s an expensive lesson!


Equally, this month was a lot of family time too. After being away the past month, I wanted to spend extra time with my family this month, especially during Mother’s Day and Memorial weekend. Seeing my family and especially my grandparents and parents happy over the simple things, makes me happy. I even got to catch up with my cousin and build our friendship, something I never thought of as a kid since I didn’t grow up that close to him. Just like I said above in the friendship entry, it really is never too late to rekindle a relationship.


 
Lows + Lessons:

1. Work

So many aspects of work this month. My past work - in this perspective, it makes me sad that my old company didn’t do too well this month. Even though it wasn’t my dream job and I’ve left that job and company for over a year, I feel sad for everyone affected. Layoffs suck. While I wasn’t directly affected, it feels like a part of me is missing. Now to my present work - in this perspective, it has been pretty busy and I’ve been trying to hang on. This month, I’ve been more vocal and proactive about moving up. It’s scary to be so vocal, but in the long run I know I’ll be happy I’m speaking up. With that being said, speaking up has also led to more projects, many of which are ambiguous, and that has been overwhelming. It’s a work in progress, but overall looking back, I feel more happy about speaking up than I am sad about the load.


2. Family matters

I won’t get too deep into this, but this month life has been busy with family matters too. I’m being vague, but family matters has been making me stressed but also sentimental. Is this an immigrant child thing? Not sure. Without getting to the specifics of the matters -- I did want to share a low feeling sentimental. My dad shared he thought about things further down the line and he felt sad for me. The way that he felt sad for me, I felt sad for him. My initial anger seemed to vanish, and I just felt sad for him feeling sad for me.


I reflect a lot, and while things can be overwhelming professionally and personally, I still feel overall lucky given the circumstances. Can I share my luck with others?


 
My pick of the month: Outdoor runs

Since returning back to SF, I’ve been running every other day outdoors by myself. Prior to this, I’ve only ran outdoors with Pearl or constantly indoors with my elliptical. I didn’t expect to get so consistent, or enjoy it so much, all by my own company too. My elliptical had broke and I thought I would just get a new one and reimburse it, but I had enjoyed the outdoors so much more than I thought. Running outdoors is challenging for me, both quite literally physically (but also I hate being perceived outdoors lol) yet someone I fell in love with running outdoors this month. Childhood me is proud. Might I add that it only takes 10mins to run a little over a mile and be tired AF?? This running outdoors is so efficient lol perfect for someone who likes to savor time like me.


 

I want to end off with this quote I came across this month that really spoke through me:





Let’s see what change and time will bring to us in the month of June.


Chat soon in July,

-- Stephanie


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