July -- it’s summer at its peak! The month of June felt unreal, yet here we are already welcoming July. Somehow my brain is still stuck at feeling like I was JUST coming back from LA in April? I blinked, and now it's July. Usually I have a section of notes on my phone where I write little snippets throughout the month to remember what to write during this month-end reflections, June though, flew by that I didn’t do so -- so bear with me if this entry is only a reflection of what I can remember at the top of my mind at this point in time.
It’s 4:26pm on a Saturday right now as I write this entry inside my local starbucks, with my iced matcha latte, a plethora of books and journals I may or may not get to, and my favorite natural evening sunlight. In a perfect world, I would’ve walked to starbucks early this morning to have this moment here. One thing led to another about my day today and I was really thinking about writing this entry late at night per usual, but I am glad I ended up walking over here -- 4pm and all. Now to the entry — Stephanie
As y’all know, life is always busy -- not just for me, but for everyone. Let’s talk about what made the month busy, and I’d love to hear about yours too.
Professionally, I started being more vocal about my career growth intentions and started blocking off time to develop myself vs just letting my calendar get flooded with meetings from others. To be honest, I am not sure how this was received or interpreted by others. At the surface level though, it seems well received. The previous months, I was getting so busy with projects and I felt like I wasn’t doing what was best for myself vs doing what was best for others. This month was still busy with projects, but I feel much better than I took a stance for myself. I ended up going to SJ twice this month, one voluntarily for a career navigators workshop in HQ -- and I am glad I invested the time and drive to myself (even if it meant playing catch up later lol). Work will always be work, the ambiguous project I was left leading is still anxiety inducing lol, but this month I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I’m a bit happier -- knowing that even though work is busy, by putting a stance for myself and making that clear to my manager -- I’m busy not just fulfilling duties, but actively making efforts to make it clear to leadership of my ambitions. Also Time does have its own magic, this month, a lot of technical stakeholders I originally felt intimidated by, somehow all seemed to work it’s way out. Despite the wild months, all is as good as can be here!
Friendships, it was a month filled with old friends and new friends. I had my usual floater catch ups, but also open to putting myself out there when invited to gatherings. I’ve always preferred meeting new people in smaller group settings, so when I was invited to two different large group gathers this month -- I was thinking of making an excuse (too tired from work, which truthfully I actually really was lol) but I also told myself that it’s summer and to put myself out there and if I’m really not feeling it, I can just leave early. I always forget that one can just leave vs stay the whole time (lol bc I have bad exit strategies), so I convinced myself to go. And it was good! Not ‘mindblowing great like these are my next besties’ but overall it was good and I am glad I put myself out there and got out of my comfort zone. I’ve never liked joining huge groups of people who mostly know each other because I feel like I’m intruding or I have to make convo when people are talking about their past that I wasn’t there for, but in both situations I think I did well :)
So we talked about new friends, now let’s talk about old friends. This month I also made conscious decisions about who to spend my time and energy with because I truly enjoy the time together vs doing it to just do it. I don’t know. I just felt like some people didn’t have the best intentions when reaching out to me, and I selfishly admit that life is too short to be spending time with people who don’t have your best intentions. For those who do have good intentions, I am oh so thankful for them all. Y’all know who you are!
Lessons + Lows
I don’t really want to call this a low, but more of an ongoing, informative lesson. Family, this month I feel like I got closer with my family more than ever in this post-grad life. I want so badly to fulfill their dreams, one of which is to be a homeowner, and this month has been especially hard in this aspect as I’m starting to be more proactive in this area as well. There is so much in the process that I’m a newbie, and my sister and parents know even less. This month I felt like I was living a busy professional life, and then at night I was living another full time job tryna tackle this homebuying process. I won’t get too in the details with the family dynamic and starting the homebuying process, but I felt like everyone kept coming to me and while in the past I was also helping family out with other things -- those things felt easier to learn or it was things I already knew. This time around, buying a home is a big motion filled with decisions that are not easily reversible and have big repercussions, and I feel much too young and experienced. This month had a whirlwind of events, some better and some quite low lol, but looking back I see it as a crashcourse lesson of a month that can only make me more ready for the future.
My pick of the month : the Luck of the Dragon
I spotted this necklace at a local craft fair and fell in love with it instantly. I’m not sure when it started, but I’ve been having an obsession with Chinese inspired dragons, giving me a feeling of good luck. I’ve been wearing this necklace religiously this month (at this moment actually haha), I feel like it gives me the luck and strength in any situation I am in.
This month has not been the easiest month and I thank you all in my life for bearing with me! I admit I have not been the most present, and I am lucky for all those in my life who continue to support me.
I’m about to embark on a much needed family weekend getaway after posting this, wishing you all a wonderful, relaxing July!
Chat soon in August,
A random quote I came across on youtube that really hit lol not related to anything:
“ The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten”.