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Hello! Welcome back to the messy life that I call my very own. Seeing that my September Wrap Up is VERY late you can tell how much of a disorganized month I have been having. However, I thought it’s better late than ever so here I am!
Lifestyle: Take a Deep Breath and Relax
During the month of September, I decided to relax and prioritize myself as well as my happiness. Therefore, I wasn’t super productive in finding a job in all honesty but rather learned to do what I was interested in. I played the piano for the first time in years and it was so much fun. I remember taking piano lessons every summer in Korea for years when I was younger. I remember it feeling like a chore and now I wish I continued playing it because now I’m so stiff at it.
I started cooking more often again because I’ve honestly been eating take out food a lot ever since I came to Korea. September 1st was the first day I was able to go out ever since my 2 week quarantine in Korea. However, during the whole quarantine and first few weeks in September I ate A LOT of take out food because I couldn’t resist all the good Korean food that I’ve missed. However, I realized I needed to also start taking care of my health and learn to eat a balanced meal. Therefore, I started to cook more often and realized that it’s honestly a hobby for me. I love the whole process of cooking whether it is the grocery shopping, thinking of a recipe, or prepping to cook. I learned that it’s somewhat of a therapy and the joy of cooking not only for yourself but for others (usually my mom) felt super rewarding!
I also chopped off all my hair once I was able to go out to a salon. Honestly, I was thinking of just going in for a trim but later had this weird impulse that I wanted to chop off my hair the day before. I think it felt almost symbolic that I got rid of a large chunk of my hair because I was saying goodbye to my past and getting excited for the future and the memories I’ll make with my short hair. I mean I don’t think about it this deeply before a haircut but I guess it’s also good to put meaning to something as simple as a haircut. This is also the shortest I’ve ever had my hair but I think it looks nice!
I also got to go on a week-long staycation trip to Busan! Busan is around 4-5 hours from where I live, similar to going from SoCal to NorCal. Although when I went to Busan, I mostly stayed in the hotel because there were some restrictions still due to Covid-19, it was a really relaxing trip! I also got to eat a lot of good seafood that Busan is known for and it satisfied the inner foodie in me. It was also a great time to spend with my mom. I also hoped that I could continue going on trips around Korea with my parents even after I grow even older. I realized how much harder it would become to travel with my parents once I start a job or life becomes overwhelming again. Therefore, I learned to be even more thankful for this trip that I had.
Lows: Plans Change & That's Okay
Luckily for me, I think September was a good month with not a lot of lows for me. This doesn’t mean my life was perfect and there weren’t days where I was sad. Honestly, I hoped to have secured an internship or anything similar during my quarantine in August so that I can start it in September. I wanted to feel productive and like I came to Korea with a purpose and not just to relax. However, once September came around and I didn’t have anything, I realized that it was okay. I didn’t want to dwell in the sadness and like I didn’t accomplish anything. Although life didn’t go as I planned, I learned to go with the flow! I learned to enjoy being in Korea and do all the things I missed about being here. I also learned that relaxing is not a bad thing. I think talking to my mom helped me get over my lows because she told me about how looking back at her 20’s, she lived a busy life of work and hopes that she could have just relaxed because she has her whole life to do work. Therefore, she wishes that I could just enjoy the free time I have right now because once I find a job eventually, it’ll be hard to find free time to do whatever I want or go on vacations.
Lessons: You are in Charge of Your Own Happiness
I don’t think a lot of people know this but I started to journal almost everyday ever since April of 2020. I was mostly inspired to journal everyday because I saw a lot of people doing something similar because of how different life has been since the start of Covid-19 and thought it would be a good way to look back at this somewhat historical moment. Anyways, I have always loved journaling ever since I was little because I’m not someone who can easily open up about my problems to other people. Therefore, I always found it so therapeutic that I can vent about my problems without feeling like I overshared my problems to other people. At the end of every month, I try to write down any thought I have had during that month and this is what I came up with:
“This month felt very relaxing and a nice escape from my stressful mind. I learned to love the gap of not having any work, which previously made me so insecure and anxious. I learned to feel good about myself and no longer feel worthless that I don’t have anything lined up for my future but rather just continue to do my best. Also, I started to feel so nostalgic about my past, even though I don’t want to. I love remembering good memories but I don’t want to be stuck in the past. I want to live for the future. I want to better myself and let go of whatever is in the past, including any mistakes I’ve made previously. I don’t want to hold onto the past that’s no longer here.” This is exactly what I wrote at the end of this month and I think this is a great lesson that I learned this month. I learned to be more secure about myself and realize that I control the level of my own happiness. Oftentimes (sometimes without even realizing), I continued to put pressure on myself and make myself feel so worthless because I felt so behind than other people and I didn’t have my life set. However, when I learned to truly enjoy the gap and break that I had, I learned to feel more free and happy with doing what made me happy. This doesn’t mean I gave up on having a good job or future, just meant that I no longer stressed about it and learned to try my best meanwhile living my life!
Another thing that I learned was that I want to live for the present and future. Honestly, I used to be really good at this - almost too good where I didn’t hold onto the past. This doesn’t mean I never looked back at any memories I had, I just recognized the good times I’ve had and was excited for different yet amazing memories that were yet to come in the future. However, after graduating college, I started to look back at my past more and start to wish that I can go back to the past to enjoy the times I’ve had. But the fact is- YOU CAN’T! So, what you have to do is be thankful for the times you have had and learn to let go. Oftentimes, I feel so old and like my life is at the end because I’m done with college and I never really pictured what life would be like after school. But you know what, I am only 22 years old and I have my whole life ahead of me. If there were past mistakes I’ve made, I just need to learn to not make the same mistakes again. If I miss a good memory I’ve had, I just need to know there’s more that I’ll make that I don’t even know of yet. Life is so short and you just have to keep moving forward while learning to enjoy the present.
This reminded me of a popular Korean phrase that is very fitting to my situation and a nice way to end this month’s lesson:
“피할수 없으면 즐겨라”
“If you can’t avoid it, might as well enjoy it."I can’t really avoid the gap in my career because much has been affected due to Covid-19 and life isn’t really what I pictured it would be like, but it’s not something that I can fix or avoid so might as well learn to enjoy it! Learn what makes you happy and spend time with yourself to learn more about yourself.
Pick of the month: Korean Food!
I've obviously been eating a lot of Korean food being that I am in Korea. I encourage everyone to try Korean food wherever they are at, whether it’s trying out a restaurant or making a Korean recipe at home!
Songs on Repeat
This month, I haven’t really been listening to music for some reason but here are the few songs I have:
My Caffeine - Faith Richards
Fallen (Interlude) - Mr. Thibs
Why Do I still? (Ft. May Angeles) - Nieman, May Angles
At My Worst - Pink Sweat$
Here is my Spotify playlist for this month:
Thank you for tuning in to my post and hopefully I will learn to be more on time for my next post!
Talk to you later,
Jin Kim