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A hard pill to swallow, but life goes on | Stephanie’s August 2026
Wow I can’t believe how the year feels like it’s nearing end as we’re already in September! August, the end of summer and the beginning to transition to Fall. I won’t sugar coat it as the title reads, August was truly a tough one - but life continues to move on. Just as much as Summer has eventually transitioned to Fall. Let’s get into the recap — Stephanie
Lifestyle, Lows, Lessons:
Starting with the Highs, this month I got to spontaneously (ish) reunite with Jin in SF! The most jampacked maxx’d Saturday ever. From the early morning pickup to the most filling dim sum, filled with laughs and spicy wasabi chicken salad (ifykyk) with my partner, to the spontaneous long catch up with Homen, strolls around the city and balut tasting at home, to vibey wine bars and never ending chats - never a dull moment togethr and exactly what I needed to kick off the month strong before what was in store for the month.
Some honorary mentions also include a much needed catch up (and send off to LA!) with Diana, friends who reached out during this difficult month, therapeutic end of the month catch up with Christina W, to my dedication to taking classes regularly again, even voluntarily going into the office more often lol as it’s a walk away from my tuesday lagree class - to spending time with my coworker friends outside of work. To be a part of different communities, to have people reaching out during a time I’ve found myself staying silent, to be thought of, and to invest in my own health are amongst what makes the chaotic times, bearable.
The biggest low of the month was that my maternal grandma had passed away on August 17th 2026. I don’t know what was tougher - losing her, or the months leading up to it and the weeks post-passing, my grief for her, even more tough has been seeing my mom go through all the motions of losing a parent. It’s been all sorts of emotions and reasonings for each emotion, that’s for sure. My grandma isn’t on a documentary or history book, but she’s someone I look up to and empathize with. If for whoever is reading this, and for me to preserve my memories of her - I’d like to use this space to reflect and share her story. Xuan Bao Truong (my maternal grandmother), wasn’t born with much - but made the best out of the cards she was dealt with. Born in Southern Vietnam, she would often tell me stories about her loving father, who was extremely poor but always gave them everything of what little he had. My grandmother would tear up telling me about him. He passed when she was in her pre-teens and my grandmother became an orphan, she ended up becoming a live-in maid in exchange for shelter. I can’t imagine the strength my grandma had at that age, or the loneliness she must have felt when she became an orphan. It was as a live-in maid did she meet my grandpa who was also working there for a couple dollars. He became her only family before they started a family of their own. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for my grandma to become a mom when she didn’t get to experience the love of a mother herself. My grandma loved her children so deeply, while it’s common for asian families to take care of their aging parents - the level of love, time, and loyalty my mother and sisters had for my grandmother was truly something else. Perhaps its due to the way my grandmother loved them growing up and how tightly she held onto them. I can definitely see that same type of love I ended up harboring for my parents. When things were finally getting brighter for her - my grandfather started a construction business and could send his children to school - they had hope to break socioeconomic barriers for their children. The Vietnam war broke out and my grandparents lost everything they built from scratch, the spent what little money they had left to send my uncle to escape on a boat - I heard from my mother that my grandmother had so much ptsd from the wars, fear of not being able to feed her children, and worry that she’ll never see her eldest son again lost at sea. My grandmother persevered as she always had - brighter days were ahead when my uncle successfully seeked refugee and immigrated my family to SF. She had lots of bright years in SF, but from ages 40 to late 80s, from a stroke to an endless battle of diabetes and now advanced dementia. I’m not ending this on a sob story, but how she fought through each difficult chapter, and how her SF chapters were a loving grandma, even through all her illnesses - she would take 1 hour buses to watch over my sister and I when my parents needed to work, she bought us so much food that I was never hungry and was a fat kid, carried up heavy durian to our stairs-only apartment with her injured foot, she gave so much love despite not having that love of a mom or grandparent herself. My grandmother’s deep love for her family is the reason why I see my mom and her children exude love, care, and time beyond measure. Her legacy and impact continues to live on - I was truly in awe at how much her community had showed up for her in the weeks since her passing, and this also had me reflecting on how I’ve been living life and how I can carry on her legacy. Her passing has also led to spending a lot more time with my parents, especially my mom - and how I can be there for her during this difficult time.
A week later while I was out of office on bereavement, my manager had shared the news with me that my team has re-org’d and that my role has been impacted. I felt a gush of emotions yet again, sadness, frustration, fear. All of the above. Honestly I am still processing this alongside my grandmother’s passing. It’s hard to summarize why I felt so negatively affected by this because I know I have so much to be thankful for (that I still have a job, a job at a good company that offers so much such as generous bereavement leave, a career not just a job) yet I was feeling all sorts of emotions and loss. I felt I had loss a part of my purpose and passion in my career that I am still unable to find in my new role now that it’s been a few weeks out. I am trying my best to be open minded and make the best out of the situation. I have been heads down tackling on the work of the new role, a bittersweet goodbye to the dual-role and programs I’ve been building this past year (which I truly thrived at for something that I was voluntold to manage last year and just getting great traction now), and continuing to double down on my search for what’s next. More on that in next month’s write up as it’s also been an array of emotions applying to roles, interviewing, rejections, and all the emotions in between.
Amidst all the hard pills to swallow this month - I am extremely thankful for my community. From all my friends who checked in on me, offered to help and support, my family for coming together, and my partner. Honorable shoutout to my partner in particular for planning a fun-filled all day date from the DeYoung museum, picnic-ing, to a staycation with the two kittens to get my mind off everything. It truly was a getaway! Honarable mention to my friends who made the time to see me and continuously reached out, and honarable mentions to my coworker friends who made me feel even more supported than my exmanager.
My pick of the month:
It’s not that I don’t have a pick of the month but it feels oddly weird to put my grandma in this section as it feels like I am celebrating something which I don’t feel right about celebrating her passing. Instead, I’d like for the readers here to refer to the section above where I shared her story. That’s informally my pick.
July was tough, but August was truly a hard pill to swallow. The thing about adulting is that - life continues to move on, even if it’s a hard pill to swallow. From my grandma’s passing to the reorg, as much as I’d like time to process before moving on the each transition - sometimes it just doesn’t work that way and we just have to accept and go with the flow of time. Similarly as Summer is fleeting to Fall. What’s been revealing through this all - is the love and power of family, and the people who are there for you as you go through multiple hard chapters. I’ve shared a lot in this write up, but do know that I am eternally thankful for what I do have, and I know I have a lot to be grateful for. Here’s to a (hopefully) brighter September.
Chat soon in September,
— Stephanie
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