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A different growth | Stephanie's Sep 2023

And we reach the end of another month, another month filled with memories, learnings, and existing. With the ending of September, indicates that we’re well into Fall and nearing the end of the year. How wild, with this entry I hope to savor time and memories for just a little while longer -- here’s how September went.


September was all sorts of existing through life, even without major travels or concerts. Starting professionally, I had my annual team offsite and got to see my whole team in person in SJ for a week. It’s wild to think I only see my whole team in person once a year, that sounds like a very long time, yet I feel like the year just brushed by. Similar to last year, I wasn’t as open as others with sharing about my personal life, though I definitely felt how I’ve changed since last year. I didn’t mind being a bit different from others in the level of comfort of sharing, last year I was more self-conscious. I even had a moment with some colleagues where I shared my upcoming travels and music festival, as well as introduced them to my mentee, which surprised me about how I would be open about sharing that part of me. And of course just as I sucked at playing topgolf last year, I sucked even more at ax throwing this year LOL I had fun though and laughed at myself. I also got to attend our ‘For all’ week held in HQ later this month, an annual week event of celebrating culture and employees at my company, we even had Mindy Kaling come in and have a fireside chat. My favorite moment for AFA week was the grattitude note event and also getting to know a colleague (that I at fault) never really tried to get to know, but really enjoyed our conversation once I tried to get to know him better that day. As fun and games as it was, work-wise, I also had to reiterate my boundaries this month. It didn’t feel good, but I was physiologically getting too tired and I knew I had to speak up for myself before things become a norm. My manager was very open to feedback, and is supportive of my professional growth, I couldn’t be more thankful for how well received everything has been this month.

Personal life wise, this was a month with a different weekend each week. Started off the month with family and went to Santa Cruz, also celebrated my sister's birthday -- lots of hot pot involved. Then, kicked off labor day weekend with brunch with friends and a long long walk with ashley. The long walk reminded me of our covid days, isn’t it wild that’s 2+ years ago? We walked all around SF for the whole day, and I never get tired of exploring the local shops along the way each time. We ended up at the pier and I got to live my tourist life at fishermans wharf, the arcade from princess diaries, and mini golf themed off on historical landmarks of SF -- the best part of this day was that we didn’t plan any of it, we just set a day to walk and stopped at whatever looked interesting. In two different occasions this month, I also got to catch up with two different friends I haven’t seen in quite some time, friends i met years ago at different life stages. It was interesting, one of the friends we picked up right where we left off as if time didn’t pass and we could chat on and on. Then with the other friend I caught up with, I realized we’re quite different people now and I was struggling to find a common ground between us now. Nothing wrong with that either as people change over time. I’ll always be thankful for the good memories that we did have together. And then for a third friend that I had a falling out with a couple months back, I decided to be the bigger person and reach out first. Lifes too short sometimes to let your ego get in the way, and for this one, I decided that it’s okay to be the bigger person.


I’m skipping straight to lessons for this entry. I think back to my month and while there were moments that were mundane, I can’t necessarily think of a truly low moment. I’d rather not write about the mundane and the annoying moments as I’ve moved past them, I’m thankful this month was more on the little annoying moments than heavy lows. So moving on to lessons.

Honestly this is more of a high, but I decided to write it in the lessons. A distant cousin of mine invited us to her wedding and my family and I wasn’t really planning on attending because we aren’t close to this side of the family at all, also it was going to be a pretty modern american wedding, something my parents and I aren’t used to attending together. We didn’t want to go and feel out of place and not know anyone. But my dad and I decided to go anyway to support his nephew and niece. And I’m so glad I decided to go with him, despite the cold feet I had right prior. It was many firsts I got to experience with my dad. I got to teach him how to use the photobooth, translate what the very americanized appetizers were, and help him order at the open bar (and the bartender was cute lol). I never even thought I’d end up taking a tequilla shot with my dad, or see him on the dancefloor jamming to lady gaga with his cousin. And it gets even wilder. I went from being afraid I wouldn’t know anyone, to enjoying the wedding alone, to later running into an old High School friend -- to ending the night learning how to make new friends where I initially knew no one. It felt like I was at a college event and joined a big girl group lmao. It’s funny because a couple years ago, idk if young me could enjoy going to events like these where I didn’t know anyone. But even at times where my dad wasn’t with me, I was okay enjoying myself.

I am proud I decided to go to this wedding and experience many firsts with my dad, and for putting myself out there, where I truly enjoyed being both in my own space initially, and then also getting close to different parts of the family that I didn’t initially expect to. Here’s to saying yes to new experiences.

My romantic life is back to being dry, but this month was probably the most growth I’ve had from within when it comes to my romantic life. I’ve always had bad exit strategies, but this month I’ve really been working on being intentional to not just continue a conversation just because, but to set a timing for myself. In particular I feel like I’ve been texting for way too long, and instead of ghosting or shutting things down like I usually do, I really put in effort to communicate in a way that got my point across but also made the other person feel included. Additionally, I tend to overthink everything and I don’t really like going on dates if I have a prelude of not feeling like the conversation is that free flowing, but this month I decided to give the power of 3 rule. So I decided to go on a 3rd date, and while it isn’t big to many, for me and my avoidant style -- it’s a big step in my growth and being open minded. So I went on that 3rd date, and it confirmed my feelings -- I likely won’t go on a fourth with this person and that’s okay. I feel like through this whole experience I really grew to be more open, and even if it’s just by a little percent -- I think I am healing from my avoidant style.


My pick of the month:

Two very different quotes I came across this month at different time periods, and that I found quite fitting for this entry.

Heavy on growth Over and over again, As many times As it takes

“Identifying an edge that ultimately becomes the center of an industry (as a builder or investor) is a curiosity-driven discipline. Rationality or following the pack inherently won’t bring you there, but hard to explain curiosity can.”

Yeah I know the vibes of both of these is quite different, but I am someone with varied interests lol


This month was another month of existing, that’s what happens when things are so go go go, but I’m also thankful to have so much going that life continues to feel full. Usually my growth is within career or family and friends, while there was some of that sprinkled in this month -- this month was a different kind of growth, especially in attachment styles. It’s still in its early stages, but a work in progress is a work in progress :) . October will already be eventful, I already know it. Can’t wait for all that’s to come! Wishing all that’s more to come for y’all as well.

Until Nov,

— Stephanie


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