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Welcoming my inner child | Stephanie's Aug 2023



Screaming not because I can’t believe it’s September and yet another month, but the fact that over half the year is over! It really is true as they say the years go by faster each time. How did your August 2023 go? Here’s mine . -- Stephanie


Lifestyle:

I started off this month with a bang and got to see the Jonas Brothers live! The little girl in me would’ve never imagined seeing the Jonas Brothers live as an adult, and my inner child was very satisfied. I danced and sang my heart out, it was gratifying hearing them play all their OG songs, seeing many of the crowd (who seemed similar to my friends and I living out our inner child) and what was most gratifying was being able to experience it with Ashley, my childhood bestie. More than the concert itself, my inner child got to experience and feel what she wanted.


The party did not end with the Jonas Brothers and I got to experience Sol Blume this past month as well! It was nice experiencing a RnB festival for once, while I enjoy music from the artists and lineups, I’ve never actually went to a festival dedicated to RnB and it was a nice first experience! Quote of the trip, “don’t be boring, just sway”. Jokes aside, I enjoyed getting in my feels with the music, and what made it even more special was it being a trip with Ashley. We had so many laughs, and very wtf just happened moments at the hotel that I will forever laugh about whenever I try to remember lol.



I didn’t go to OSL this year, but I always get reminded of it during August months in SF, this year Zedd was playing and it reminded me of the time I saw Zedd live for the first time senior year HS. I actually ended up google searching live performances dating back to 2014 lol and it was bittersweet, listening to spectrum never gets old, I feel like I’m 14 again and dreaming of one day hearing this live. I still get the chills every time I listen to a live video of this song. It was crazy reflecting back at how much time has passed and that we’ve grown since then. (and that we made our dreams a reality!).


This month wasn’t all concerts, I also got to catch up with my old HS internship friends Lesly and Ada, it’s been over a year+ and lots have changed since we met in 2015. Even so, it was refreshing seeing them again and catching up with how present-day us are now. I don’t keep up with a lot of people HS and earlier, especially if they weren’t part of my smaller circle, but this catch up was v nice! Lesly ended up remembering something I said and surprised me with a gift the next day -- how lucky am I to have her as a friend, and how lucky am I to continuously be reminded of how blessed I am for the people in my life.



Lows + Lessons

1. Family Health


I’m writing this in hindsight as I know how the month ended, but at the start of this month it was challenging navigating the unknowns with my moms health. There was this one week where I kept trying to send records and the doctor had called me and asked I go straight to the lab to obtain physical records and then deliver them to the specialist on the same day lol because that specialist is only here on X day. I was like wtf, but sure lmao was very surprised at even myself that I was able to just drop everything at work (luckily my job is pretty WFH friendly) and tell my manager that I’ll be out for 2 hours dealing with urgent family matters. This was a low worrying about my mom’s health the past month but luckily the first biopsy showcased no bad news, so fingers crossed for the second. Secondly, this situation surprised me of myself and my relationship with work at this stage in my life, where I’m able to put what matters to me more first.


2. Allowing myself to be selfish


Another low lesson this month was really allowing myself to feel and be selfish for myself. I feel like I often feel guilty for others, and I’m not sure if its because of the way I grew up and developed more of a provider nature. But there were multiple instances at work this month where my colleague was trying to make non-work asks of me (ie sharing space or a ride) and I feel like I usually give in easily bc I wanna be a good friend lol but then this month I realized that I don’t always have to feel guilty. I held strong on push backs and came to the conclusion that despite trying to feel empathy for someone, I don’t always have to take action and exchange my own comfort. Unrelated to work but at home, this past month as you know I’ve been going to concerts (lol not even that much like 2 but still its a lot in a month for me haha) and my parents were not a fan of me going out and usually I’d get into this long chat before or after and then I’d feel guilty, but this time around I kinda just verbalized my stance and that I still care for them but I also want to do things for myself too. It’s funny because I feel like back then I totally would’ve made up a lie about going to a concert to avoid these chats, but this month I was just living with integrity and it was nice.


I feel like a theme of this month whether that’s the positives of a fun lifestyle catching up with friends and going to concerts, or the not-so-positives of learning to put aside work, learning to speak up and over come guilt -- had an overall theme of healing my inner child. She’s still got a ways to go! But my inner child feels very acknowledged this month:)



 
Pick of the month:


Hands down concerts haha you already know it. August is festival season in norcal (yes I made that up but like actually though there’s been b2b festivals this whole month and going lol) Aug-Sept be the summer here. Love how universal music is and how it brings joy to everyone. I sang my heart out at the Jonas Brothers and vibed through the weekend of Sol Blume, it was also nice enjoying both from the middle back this time around and barely taking any videos. I feel like back then I'd want to be up front and would always take a ton of footage, yet this month I truly lived in the moment and vibed (If I wanted videos I can go on the internet lol) and it was nice enjoying the music from the comfort of our space vs squished and shoved. Oh how times and I have changed (though I still like the front for artists im a big fan on hehe).



Thank you for tuning in as always and I hope you have a wonderful month of September! This time of the year used to be bittersweet for me as it was a mix of emotions -- sad end to summer, excited yet anxiousness of starting the school year -- and now, I feel mostly at peace and excited for what’s the come. The nerves are still there -- but it’s interesting seeing how we change over time. Cheers to September!


Chat in October,


Best,

Stephanie


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